Wednesday, January 03, 2007


We don't have high hopes for tonight's game with the Cardinal (our preview is here), but we thought it wise to gear up anyway with a quick review of the most obnoxious, insufferable players in recent Stanford history.

10. Robin Lopez (2006 - present). We know it's early, but this one shows such promise, what with the Sideshow Bob 'do and the leering would-you-like-some-candy half-smile.

9. Todd Lichti (1986-1989) Not much to really hate about Todd, other than the fact that he was a Bear-killer and he looked exactly like Tyne Daly.

8. Matt Lottich (2001-2004) It's safe to say that if you're a fan favorite for the Maples dorks, then you're a strong candidate for this list. Worst player ever to host his own basketball camp.

7. Adam Keefe (1989-1992) Always seemed like the game was a chore, sneering at opponents, refs, fans. Also impossible to control on the glass. Damn you, Adam Keefe!

6. Curtis Borchardt (2000-2002) The Ivan Drago of Stanford hoops. A cyborg, actually, who would often malfunction and leave the Card high and dry. Just not against Cal, whom he thumped with regularity.

5. Mark Madsen (1997-2000) Great player, massive tool. Will be remembered not for leading the Cardinal to the Final Four, but for his ill-advised public dance after a Lakers victory parade.

4. Monty (1986-2004) He'll get back into the college game at some point, and some have speculated Cal could be in the mix. He's the 2nd or 3rd best coach in the Pac in recent history, and we'd be lucky to have him, but for the fact that he inspires a gag reflex every time we see him.

3. Andrew Vlahov (1988-1991) Little known fact: Vlahov means "Aussie goon" in Croatian. Dirtiest player in Pac-10 history, and it's not close.

2. Casey Jacobsen (2000-2002) Highlighted his hair. Had huge game, but never shook the whiny white boy act perfected by generations of Stanford guards. Shown at left auditioning for a boy band.

1. Chris Hernandez (2003-2006) If Chris Hernandez had never been born, God would have invented him to solely to receive the scorn of Bear fans. Bitched about everything - refs, opponents, poor technique by the end-line photographers who occasionally failed to fully capture his INTENSE on-court demeanor. Happiness was watching Ayinde turn him over last year at Haas to end the game. Were you fouled, Chris? No, we don't think so. No tourney for you.


At 11:31 AM, Anonymous SoCal Oski said...

Isn't Insufferable Furdie redundant?

At 1:46 PM, Blogger T. said...

Socal Oski - I think Summer Sanders is okay.

Tightwad - I must take exception to this list which includes my personal #1 - Brevin Fucking Knight. That's his full name.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Tightwad said...

If I recall, BFK was insufferable solely because he was really good, which would disqualify him from this list.

At 1:55 PM, Blogger T. said...

he may have been good (and still is, to be objectively honest) but he's still a trash talking, cheap shotting little punk who ranks 3rd on my all time least favorite Pac-10 players (behind Toby Bailey and Reggie Geary and ahead of guys like Miles Simon, Jason Terry, Burt Harris and Matt Barnes)

At 1:59 PM, Blogger T. said...

and while I'm here - no mention of #10 showin' his grill and going for the money? We'll miss ya, Marshawn. Thanks for the memories, and good luck in the Lig.

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Tightwad said...

we'll throw something up on ML - it's like a death in the family to me since I don't watch the NFL unless forced to do so.

At 5:42 PM, Blogger border crosser said...

what about dan millman? broght cal a national gymnastics championship

At 8:53 PM, Blogger Tightwad said...

you've stumped us there, crosser. Tell the story.

At 9:50 PM, Blogger border crosser said...


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